july 13 - 8:03pm

feeling: wistful

i can see the mountains from my home and i wish to be anywhere but here.

july 8 - 10:00pm

feeling: out of this world

i think it's been nearly three months on my anti-depressants. i could only take half a tablet at first because i'm bad at swallowing pills. but, when i increased it to a full one, i had almost two weeks full of complete numbness and dissociation. it was so so stressful and i could never focus and couldn't go anywhere without just completely feeling gone from my emotions and life.
i haven't been getting better at all. the symptoms i mentioned above have still been going on, but to a lesser degree. sometimes things just feel so unreal. sometimes my hands feel weird and i need to stretch them in and out to confirm that they belong to me. don't even get me started about visiting the supermarket. i'm not even conscious. i keep hoping eveything is just a dream.